I was shocked to discover the speaker was unable to communicate how to build confidence. He himself had suffered anxiety throughout his business life until one day he ‘realised’ he could ‘control his thoughts’ that he was able to change the way he thought and control his anxiety. But this doesn’t explain how to build confidence. He tried to say the absence of anxiety was confidence. But it is not. Anxiety is fear – fear of something. When you couple fear with confidence you get COURAGE! The absence of anxiety isn’t confidence, sometimes you have to do things even though you are afraid. Step out and be bold whilst being afraid. Once you have done the very thing you were anxious about you feel great, exhilarated and you can build on this new found courage and create CONFIDENCE; that I did it once I can do it again.
The speaker tried to suggest you shouldn’t step out of your place of rest (where you have no anxiety). But then you would never move forward or change or see the benefits of overcoming that which is holding you back. As a business there are times when you are going to be anxious and things seem overwhelming but to overcome them and come out the other side is also a magnificent feeling.
How do you build confidence:
- Do it even if you’re afraid. Embrace it, make that phone call, write that email, give that presentation don’t put it off and allow anxiety to build. The more you do it the less anxious you become. It takes time, and sometimes you will succeed and sometimes you won’t but you can learn from both of those scenarios. When you succeed ask your self what was it that made it successful and when you don’t ask yourself what can I learn from this. Don’t stop because of a set back keep going. Keep waking up and turning up and being consistent.
- Learn about yourself. Understand why you feel anxious, what are the triggers and the root cause? What is it about the situation that is making you so anxious? The fear of failure, or looking stupid, not feeling good enough are all common factors. I like to remind my self that I am not defined by my failures (or my successes for that matter) I get to decide who I am as a person not my achievements or lack there of. The truth is we are all good at something. And it is different to those around us and we need to hone that talent. There will be failures, and set backs and people may even laugh but you decide how you are going to respond.
- Take it one day at a time. Celebrate the small things. Keep knocking at those doors. Focus on today and getting the necessary done today, tomorrow has enough trouble of it’s own. Let’s be present in the here and now.
- Be kind to yourself. Running a business is not for the faint hearted, so if you are running a business, good for you! You are already stronger than you think. You already have more confidence than you know. It takes confidence to set up a business, to run with an idea, to sell, to build relationships so if you have done any of these things then you are already building confidence. Go You!